Soundtrack to a Life Orchestrated by God
When I am in need of a form of rest or a creative stimulator, I typically will find myself scheduling a seat at my favorite movie theatre. When I arrive, I purchase a buttery popcorn, peanut M&M's, and a ginger ale, and with my blanket in tow, I march into my assigned theatre, ready for an experience. There is something so exciting about seeing a plot seamlessly come together, keeping me engaged the complete length of the film. I look forward to googling historical accuracy when it comes to the outfit and styling. I can’t forget to mention how moved I become when the musical director selects the perfect song that brings a scene together. I often leave the theatre with wisdom downloaded from the Holy Spirit (because He uses anything), a desire to watch an actor’s complete filmography, or a new song that I can use for choreography in class. The cinema experience is my favorite, and from one artist to another, I understand the intentionality it takes to create something that impacts the viewer.
Often, I look at my past as if it were a movie. There are specific songs that I may hear that draw me back to a specific period of God’s faithfulness in my life. There are many situations and experiences that only a Director like God could have orchestrated or even turned for my good. In this article, I will share lessons with my younger self, accompanied by a soundtrack to those significant periods in my life. May my journey through music memory inspire you to look back on the testimony of God’s faithfulness in your life.
Track 1: Secret Place by Kim Burrell - (2004)
“In between where I've been And where I'm going, To a special place designed just for me
In between where I've been, So closer to knowing my search is over, I think I see me.”
I am 10 years old, in the back seat of my mother’s car with my younger brother, looking out the window as we travel from Arlington to Ft Worth for church. The melodic chorus speaks to my heart, even though at the time it just sounds like a really hip gospel song. I believe God was showing me at a young age where my strength would lie: in the secret place with Him. As I was finding my comfort in movies, music, and my friends, looking back, I would tell myself:
The Lord really loves you, Shamonn. He has a unique purpose for your life that is far greater than being a famous singer in the world. His purpose for you is holy and necessary, and one day, He will show you.
This song would pop back up in my spirit years later when I finally surrendered to the Lord. How sweet to know that even when I hadn’t given my life to the Lord, He was already giving me instructions to His peace.
Track 2: More than Anything by Lamar Campbell and Spirit of Praise (2005)
“Love me in Your arms, You were my shelter from the storm, When all my friends were gone, You were right there all along. I never knew a love like this before, I just wanna say that I love You more than anything. “
The piano introduction in this song always attracted me because at this age, I was taking piano lessons from my church elder, Ms. Lou Vetrice. It was a discipline that was hard, but I felt accomplished learning a new skill that many of my peers at the time weren’t doing. What I would tell 11-year-old Shamonn at this age:
Embrace the separation that God is allowing to happen. You worry so much about fitting in with your peers that you don’t recognize the individuality that God has called you to. There is something beautiful in being yourself, if only you would take time to see.
This song will unknowingly become a theme in my life. God has used it to minister to my deep lonely places, to remind me that He is always near, and to point me back to my greatest love.
Track 3: Every Story is a Love Story/Fortune Favors the Brave from AIDA the Musical (2006)
“Every story, new or ancient, Bagatelle or work of art, All are tales of human failing, All are tales of love at heart. This is the story Of a love that flourished In a time of hate. Of lovers no tyranny could separate.”
At this age, I had already faced rejection from my childhood friends, sexual abuse at the hands of loved ones, and struggles with confidence. However, I knew that I could always find joy (and later affirmation from others) in singing and dancing. The enemy would manipulate this later in life, but I can’t forget the somewhat pure beginnings. The song’s lyrics always spoke to me during choir because even at a young age, I desired a love that I couldn’t explain. My heart was empty, and I thought that affirmation could fill it, and for some time, it did. I would tell myself at this age:
Ask the Lord to show you His heart towards you. Pay attention to the small ways because only He knows you better than you know yourself.
Unbeknownst to me, through this song, God was speaking to me about the failing love of people, and this would be a hard lesson learned repeatedly through life. In His word, there was a love story for me I had yet to discover.
Track 4: Thy Beaming Eyes from Six Love Songs, Op. 40 by Edward MacDowell (2008)
“Thy beaming eyes, Are Paradise, To me, my love, to me.”
I am now living in Duncanville, Texas. My choir class is where I found safety yet again, and in the 8th grade, I made the decision to pursue singing further. My mom would find me a wacky but skilled vocal coach, and we would begin the process of learning this beautiful song for my audition for the city performing arts high school. I hoped that this school would bring me into a community where I felt safe, where I was around creative kids like me. After rehearsing for months, with all my nerves, I auditioned on a Saturday morning and awaited a response for what my future would be. A denial letter would be the answer. This event would change the focus of my life from singing to dancing. However, I wish at that age that I knew a denial doesn’t define you. I would advise my younger self:
Don’t allow this rejection to cause you to give up too easily on what you desire. Resiliency is a skill that you will learn either in this moment or later in life. Don’t miss what God is trying to cultivate in you, a perseverance that is needed for life and your faith.
With that being said, it would be unlike God to not use this part of my journey for His glory.
Track 5: Music from “For Whom the Bell Tolls” Band Show (2009-2012)
God used this rejection from the arts school to shift me onto a journey in dance that spanned my complete high school journey. This particular halftime piece in 2011 marked me because of its phenomenal music and message about darkness being defeated by light. The performance of this piece led my high school band and dance team to a state title. It also cultivated in me a love of performance and creating movement for and with my peers. When given the chance to choreograph for the latter sections of this show, I believe God was showing me my lane. How interesting that my love for performing and choreography was cultivated with a show centered around angels defeating darkness, but I was participating in darkness simultaneously. In the background of these phenomenal experiences, my personality was unfortunately being built on false confidence developed from bullying and self-protection from my peers. Instead of rising above, I would assimilate and hurt others out of rejection and survival.
Teenage Shamonn, know that the Lord is faithful to provide justice from your peers’ bullying, but your hands must be clean. Nobody owes you anything, and though you have a gift, the Lord looks at the heart, not just the skill. Your arrogance will cost you blessings if you don’t humble yourself.
Track 6: Ballet Piano music (2012-2015)
Ballet is a foreign skill, and even though I’ve always been a quick learner, I struggled with this portion in my university dance audition. After being rejected, I fought to learn what was required so I could join this department and met my goal a year after my rejection. I grew familiar with the songs that were dedicated to specific exercises at the barre and in the center. Faster tempo music for petit allegro, the adagio needs something a bit slower and romantic to emulate the choreography. As time went on, my confidence would grow, and I would learn to embrace the complexity of this technique. Though modern dance would be my strength, I would cherish the grace and strength cultivated in my ballet class. This strength I would carry all the way until my graduation.
Shamonn, embrace the process so that you can do what others deem you incapable of doing. The Lord called you to develop His gift in you, even when system standards say you don’t have the body, time, or background for it. The Lord will use you to show others what’s possible if you surrender.
Track 7: My Promise by Eddie James (2019)
“I promise to love You, I promise to praise You, I promise to worship You in spirit and truth
I promise to give my life as an offering of sacrifice to You and You alone.”
I am a year post-grad, working in the dance field with my dream company. While I am being stretched professionally, the Lord is taking me deeper into intercession and prayer. This gift of communion with my Father would be the anchor to my life as I faced the reality of the real world. This message of this song carries me through many moments: moral failures, disappointment in meeting my “idols”, and victories in my artistic abilities, pushing against worldly systems, and maintaining my integrity as a dancer and woman for God. I continue to seek Him, commit my life to the purpose that He has called me to. My life has become a sacrifice, and as painful as it is, I know that there is no better way to live. My advice to my 20-something self:
Keep Your promise to the Father and never let Him go. He is worthy of all that You desire, and He is the One true thing worth searching for. You will never regret choosing Jesus.
Track 8: “Center” by Bethel Music (2025)
“You be the center of it all, My heart belongs to You, My Savior, all in all; You're the one I hold on to, For the beauty of Your name. My soul will live to say, Jesus, I love You.”
I end this article with my last song, accompanied by a reminder to my current self:
You have weathered through the journey, by yourself but never alone. He has been by your side during the pitfalls, the triumphs, and the in between. May you never forget the focus of your life: Jesus. Let Him be at the center of everything you do. Every endeavor He leads you in. Every class you teach. Every conversation you have. Every connection He brings you. In the midst of the journey, never forget Him. Because when you truly needed him, He saw you. He is forever “El Roi”, the One who sees you in every season. Never forget it.
